Week Off , New Name, Brownies.

I changed the name of the blog. It’s still exactly the same blog with the same aims and ideas but now the name reflects that better and fits in with my website and facebook and all that.

I also didn’t bake or blog last week, it was sort of a positive decision and sort of completely inevitable as I was too ill. Have still an awful cough but feeling so much better in comparison.

I still have no car, that was an extra stress to an already stressful weekend at a funeral. As maybe is always the case we wished the person we were celebrating could have been at the funeral to see how much we all loved him. The four-year-old is still not convinced on the permanence of death, she wondered if her grandad might appear on the stage in the arts centre while we were having the funeral after party.

So without the car, we had to find entertainment in the house and local area. This week’s baking is a result and as a result was not as fun or positive as usual, some grumpiness occurred.

We wanted to have the best ever brownies so we used a recipe which made that claim.

It was high maintenance.

We didn’t have enough dark chocolate so we had to use a variety of chocolate colours. They melted easily though so that was good. Whisking the eggs took a while but made the mixture seem really light and fluffy looking.

The brownies looked amazing when they came out but after they cooled down they were still liquid so they went back in. After a second half hour at a slightly higher temperature, they are still mostly liquid. Not sure what’s gone wrong there.

The bits we have been able to try were super delicious though.

Tomorrow we try making almond milk…

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…and get the car back at last!

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Perspectives

As a family in a time of mourning, we’re trying to learn more about empathy and taking each day at a time here. I’m struggling with car troubles and the teenagers are struggling with school work maybe not all big things in the grand scheme of life but when you’re already on edge it’s harder to keep perspective. Our four-year-old is learning sometimes cheering people up with a picture you’ve coloured works and sometimes people are just sad and maybe need a hug and that’s ok.

So we are all in need of good positive energy, trying to get good food into the family is sometimes easier said than done but at least I can lead by example.

This week I’ve baked energy bars. The taste test team mostly refused to try them due to the presence of dried fruit but those who did found them delicious, hard to believe there’s no refined sugar in there!

I used the food processor to chop the nuts -my first go at roasting them in the oven, turned out ok. I chose apricots and a couple of dates as I’m quite fussy about dried fruit (maybe where my kids get it from). Whisked the eggs by hand and that was the most work, back to using the electric whisk next time!

Just remembered to take the photo before taking a bite as had been good and waited for them to cool before cutting. They taste like a cross between flapjack and cake. Super yummy.

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Emotional

DSC_1187This blog is about cupcakes a little bit but it’s also about friends and family and how feelings are ok. I made so many cupcakes this week, vanilla ones, chocolate vegan ones, even gluten free ones which tasted good. Why? Because it was my birthday (an age with a 0 in it) and I wanted to celebrate having reached a point in my life where I have friends I can count on and who I love to spend time with. I wanted a party where I didn’t have to be the centre of attention because my friends know and love me just as I am and where I could show them how much I love them all with cake. Because I’m not always good at expressing myself but I’m good at making cake.

I am also blessed to have many lovely and loving people in myDSC_1188 family (not least my wonderful mum who supported me through all of the stress and shopping and organising and cleaning) and the same day was filled with many emotions as my kind, principled, loving father-in-law passed away. Even when you know that someone is very ill and have plenty of warning it’s still a shock when that moment comes. So there was sadness, I will never see his smile again or hear him say ‘ah they’re alright’ when I tell off one of my children. We will miss him more than we probably know. But there was also relief as his pain is over and he’s at peace now and he died with all his children and his partner and sister around him in his own bed knowing he is loved. And even surrounding the sadness there was joy. The joy that we knew him and have many wonderful memories and the joy that comes from the comfort of your friends sharing the downs as well as the ups with open and loving hearts.

Life is full of beginnings and ends and celebrations and hard times and all of the mundane day to day in-between. But if life is also full of love all of those times and all of those feelings are OK. It’s OK to be happy and OK to be sad sometimes and it’s OK to share that with each other.

Making so many (over 100) cupcakes meant freezing them before icing them on the day.

Which worked really well except that chocolate cupcakes’ wrappers peeled away as they defrosted. The gluten free cupcakes which finally worked well and tasted good were made using Doves Farm gluten free self-raising flour with their own recipe https://www.dovesfarm.co.uk/recipes/fairy-cakes/

I also made vegan and gluten free scones – more on that next week!