Killing the perfect

I’m reading a book at the moment. I like reading but I struggle with reading good novels because I like to get absorbed in the story and carried away with reading and real life is always getting in the way. But right now I’m reading a book of ideas, it’s challenging but I’m persevering. I reached a point where the book told me to put it down and go kill the perfect person I want to be -in my case the perfect mum and the perfect friend have got to go. I can’t move on until I kill off the people who don’t exist, who I will never be.

It said to not come back until I was done but it’s a long and winding road and I want to read the book. Because, like I said, it’s interesting and challenging. I do know I need to stop trying to be the perfect – that what I’m trying to be isn’t even perfect really just an image in my head built on so many things, many of which aren’t even fully true. I’m so good at recognising how great other people are but I really find it hard to appreciate myself. I don’t think I’m going to be able to switch off the perfect image I can’t measure up to just like that but I’m committed to the positive decision to step back from it and teach myself to be kind to me.

Today’s recipe is applesauce muffins┬áto use up the leftover applesauce from last week’s flapjacks┬ásugar-free and low-fat, how healthy.

They mix up nicely. Only problem I came across was probably because I need some proper muffin tins, the muffins stuck to the inside of the wrappers.

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They rose beautifully and cooked in the time suggested. It’s past the taste team’s bed time so they weren’t available (and are sceptical about apple flavoured thing apparently) but I liked them. They are really not very sweet at all and taste better with a little butter but overall will make a good breakfast I think.

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Back in the kitchen

Maybe there’s an award for most neglected blog that hasn’t actually been given up on…

So here I am back in the kitchen, its been a year of reflection and thought. There’s not been too much baking. I’m ready for a new start on everything. I need to learn who I really am, when I stop trying to make everyone else happy or do and like the things I’m supposed to.

So my challenge to myself this year of 2017 is to start making choices based on what I really love not on what I aught to do and to see where it takes me. A year of positive choices. 

My first choice is setting myself the challenge of a weekly bake. I cooked and baked in my new kitchen today and I saw the glow in my eyes in the mirror, that’s how I want to feel, not like I’m struggling through life just about making it, but inspired. 

Then this happened 

And I didn’t cry or get cross with myself for being so useless I accepted these things happen sometimes it doesn’t reflect on who I am its just something that happened. And that’s the thing I’m most proud of myself for today. 

So will you join me, encourage me, encourage yourself to make choices you love and to treat yourself with kindness?