Had a weekend of peace and calm as the four-year-old went away for a weekend visiting grandparents. Was lovely in some ways, I got a lot of work done. In other ways, the teenagers made sure it wasn’t too calm by frequently having rows. Maybe sometimes you can have too much time with your thoughts. I think about the best ways to care for my kids so much and yet so often fall short of my own standards and even more often find myself left not making a decision because I’m too busy worrying it will be the wrong one.
They are all doing fine really despite everything I know this in my head but my heart is never so confident.
Lunch required egg yoke so I was left with whites which obviously must be used up as waste is something to be feared and eliminated.
If Delia says it’s easy it must
be worth a try…
Eggs whisked and sugar whisked in. Pretty easy.
On the trays and in the oven. Oven heated to mark 2 then dropped to mark 1 for half an hour then switched off and left to cool.
Some of the meringues were not quite done, switched oven back on for 10 minutes and then they were mostly perfect.
Kitchen assistant wouldn’t try them due to not liking the look but the rest of the taste team loved them.
Not doing so well on the giving up sugar front but I’m going to argue they are healthy as fat-free!
Struggling a little this week with how to make positive decisions moving forward from having made decisions in the past that I can’t go back and change. Feel too old to start again in education.
This week’s blog is a little late, the baking challenge is still on track it’s just the writing that’s been pushed back by illness and crazy painting lady trying to get ready for carpet fitting which is happening as we speak.
This week we’ve had a lot of struggles with our natural tendency to be perfectionists and feel down on ourselves when we do things wrong. It’s an ongoing issue for both the adults in the house although we’ve both come a long way but it’s a whole new thing to teach our teenagers about how to work hard but be gentle with yourself and not put yourself under pressure or think that you will never be good enough. It’s a real reminder that what you tell your children is not as important as who you are, they will follow your example, not your teaching. There’s not a whole lot of joy in the feeling of your child struggling to see how awesome they really are but the joy has been there so much in having friends to turn to who can say in truth it’s ok, it’s normal. Also, a good time to remind ourselves that it really is difficult being a teenager and being there for them is important even when it’s hard .
This week my commitment to bake was challenged by not finding it fun, we made carrot cupcakes midweek. It wasn’t fun, the kitchen assistant didn’t like the smell and it all got a bit stressful. The cakes were ok but not really delicious and we still have some left. Made me remember the whole point of the challenge is to do something for me, something fun. My small person loves to bake too so I fell into the trap of feeling bad if I didn’t include her. But the point of the challenge is not to exclude her but to have fun and find the joy for me as there’s already plenty of joy in her life -it’s really an inspiration how much she loves the things she loves.
The second lot of baking this week was much more fun. I did lots of prep myself and asked for help with mixing which went well. I was looking for a low sugar flapjack recipe but I didn’t have dates or bananas. So I ended up mixing it up with several recipes as ideas and making my own one.
50g coconut oil
2 tbsp nut butter
4 tbsp honey
1tbsp brown sugar
1 apple -peeled and grated
Added the wet ingredients to the dry and mixed some more.
It was a bit stiff to mix, probably not quite the right balance of wet and dry ingredients.
We baked it for 20 minutes at gas mark 4 in our extra hot oven so probably higher or longer. Looked good and was yummy enough to be gone within 24 hours. It was a little dry so I’ve got plans to adjust the ingredients and try again soon. It’s not perfect first try but that’s ok we try again and keep working and remember we are still awesome 🙂